{"id":260,"date":"2017-08-15T06:35:52","date_gmt":"2017-08-15T06:35:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blsandbox1.wpengine.com\/?p=260"},"modified":"2019-05-03T15:01:12","modified_gmt":"2019-05-03T21:01:12","slug":"my-spouse-is-a-recovering-sex-addict-how-do-i-help","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lifestartherapy.com\/my-spouse-is-a-recovering-sex-addict-how-do-i-help\/","title":{"rendered":"My Spouse is a Recovering Sex Addict; How Do I Help?"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n

\"\"Sex and pornography addictions can be catastrophic in the lives of the addict, and the lives of their loved ones. The road to recovery is long and difficult, and spouses and partners may be wondering what they can do to speed their companions along the path. While it\u2019s true that no one can solve the problem\u00a0for<\/i>\u00a0the addict, some courses of action will help assist them, and make their journey easier, facilitating healing for all involved.<\/p>\n

<\/span>
\nSupporting the Addict<\/a><\/p>\n

Educate Yourself<\/h2>\n

The first step is getting to know the enemy:\u00a0the addiction<\/a>. Recovery for both you and your addict spouse will be easier if you have a solid understanding of what\u2019s actually happening. Pprnography and sexual addictions are very different from infidelity, and the problem is much less black-and-white. You\u2019ll want to be familiar with the science of addiction, as well as the definitions of terms like hypersexuality disorder, dopamine sensitivity, and OCD.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll also want to acquaint yourself with the variety of resources and treatments available. Porn and sexual addictions are a recognized problem, and many deal with it on a daily basis. Be aware that treatments, depending on the cause and severity, range from 12-step programs to psychotherapy, inpatient treatment, and medications. Your partner has a real problem, and it requires real help. Educate yourself so that you know\u00a0how to lend assistance<\/a>, and\u00a0where to get more<\/a>\u00a0if you need it.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t Remove Their Responsibility<\/h2>\n

One of your first instincts will naturally be to begin policing your partner. For an addict to recover, however, they have to be engaged in the process, and that\u2019s less likely to happen if you take control. For instance, an\u00a0internet filter<\/a>, while helpful, will be more effective if the addict suggests it. Remember, it is their addiction, so recovery must be their choice. Just as it is not your fault they suffer from an addiction, it\u2019s not your fault if they don\u2019t pursue help and recovery. Instead, focus on your own recovery, and setting healthy boundaries.<\/p>\n

Setting Boundaries With Addicted Spouse<\/h2>\n

Whether you\u2019re dealing with an addict in denial\u00a0or one that\u2019s steadily recovering with occasional mistakes along the way, it\u2019s important to establish boundaries. Just as you shouldn\u2019t coerce or manipulate your partner into seeking recovery, they should have no power to force you to stay or do anything you find unacceptable.<\/p>\n

Establish clearly defined expectations of honesty and make efforts to rebuild and preserve the relationship (both regarding the addiction, and otherwise). Once expectations are set, make it clear what actions you will take to protect yourself should offenses or relapses happen.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s important to keep in mind that \u201cboundaries\u201d are not the same as \u201cultimatums.\u201d Telling your partner \u201cClean up your act, or I\u2019m divorcing you,\u201d will likely be seen as a threat and only hinder the healing process.<\/p>\n

Supporting Yourself<\/h2>\n

As Eleanor Brownn once said, \u201cYou cannot serve from an empty vessel.\u201d One of the most important things you can do to help your partner recover is to seek recovery yourself from the trauma caused by their addiction. Pornography and sexual addictions are complicated, and determining fault is not as simple as pointing at the addict, but that doesn\u2019t make your pain any less real, or your recovery any less necessary.<\/p>\n

Establish Self-Care Habits<\/h2>\n

Along with the temptation to take control of the addict\u2019s recovery is the temptation to make life perfect for them, to the exclusion of all else. Their addiction almost always began before meeting you, and is not due to any lack or deficiency on your part; thus, being the \u201cperfect spouse\u201d will not resolve their issue, even if it was possible.<\/p>\n

Instead of sacrificing your own needs to meet theirs, prioritize your own interests so they are at least equal to your partner\u2019s. Take time to do things for yourself, like exercising, writing in a journal, spending time with friends, and so forth. Part of the recovery process is rediscovering yourself, and you\u2019ll need quality time with yourself to do that. So set aside time for yourself and your interests, separate from your partner.<\/p>\n

Seek Counseling<\/h2>\n

Being married to a sex addict husband causes a significant amount of emotional trauma. Sometimes called betrayal trauma, your grief and pain is real, and it requires healing the same way the addiction does. Seek professional help to heal from the pain, and to deal with the depression that often follows.<\/p>\n

You deserve happiness as much as your spouse does, and should value your recovery no less. Healing from these kinds of tragedies is possible, with the right help.<\/p>\n

For more information, contact\u00a0LifeStar Therapy<\/a>\u00a0today.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sex and pornography addictions can be catastrophic in the lives of the addict, and the lives of their loved ones. The road to recovery is long and difficult, and spouses and partners may be wondering what they can do to speed their companions along the path. While it\u2019s true that no one can solve the problem\u00a0for\u00a0the addict, some courses of action will help assist them, and make their journey easier, facilitating healing for all involved. Supporting the Addict Educate Yourself The first step is getting to know the enemy:\u00a0the addiction. Recovery for both you and your addict spouse will be […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,5],"tags":[37],"yoast_head":"\nMy Spouse is a Recovering Sex Addict; How Do I Help? | LifeStar Therapy<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Sex addictions cause pain in the lives of both the addict and those they love. 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