{"id":161,"date":"2014-04-23T04:50:36","date_gmt":"2014-04-23T04:50:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blsandbox1.wpengine.com\/?p=161"},"modified":"2019-08-07T16:33:52","modified_gmt":"2019-08-07T22:33:52","slug":"trauma-for-partners","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lifestartherapy.com\/trauma-for-partners\/","title":{"rendered":"Trauma for Partners"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n
\"\"Those on the receiving end of addiction are often left dealing with a sense of betrayal, hurt, and uncertainty. Addiction hits at the core of a woman\u2019s relationship and often at the center of her soul. After learning of a partner\u2019s addiction many women report that the relationship now feels false and empty. The partner of the addict is often left feeling vulnerable and disoriented. She will naturally ask, \u201cWho can I trust? Who will be there for me now?\u201d
\n<\/span>
\nThe betrayed spouse does not know where to turn and will often struggle alone. The partner\u2019s identity, security and stability are destroyed. This type of trauma shatters the internal world of the spouse of an addict. All aspects of her life are affected. Her ability to function with employment, household duties, and parenting is disrupted. Her sense of herself is altered. Often her spirituality is impacted. The experience can fall into the category of trauma.Response to trauma can vary widely, and may include any of the following:<\/b><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u2013 Fear and\/or anxiety<\/div>\n
\u2013 Outbursts of anger or rage<\/div>\n
\u2013 Sadness and\/or depression<\/div>\n
\u2013 Hypervigilence (excessive alertness or watchfulness)<\/div>\n
\u2013 Irritability<\/div>\n
\u2013 Worrying or ruminating<\/div>\n
\u2013 Intrusive thoughts of the trauma<\/div>\n
\u2013 Tendency to isolate oneself<\/div>\n
\u2013 Difficulty concentrating or remembering<\/div>\n
\u2013 Feelings of panic or feeling out of control<\/div>\n
\u2013 Increased need to control everyday experiences (parenting, cleaning, dieting)<\/div>\n
\u2013 Difficulty trusting or feelings of betrayal<\/div>\n
\u2013 Feelings of self-blame or responsibility<\/div>\n
\u2013 Flooding of feelings and\/or emotional numbness<\/div>\n
\u2013 Feelings of helplessness<\/div>\n
\u2013 Minimizing the experience<\/div>\n
\u2013 Feelings of detachment<\/div>\n
\u2013 Concern over burdening others with problems<\/div>\n
\u2013 Under- or overeating (weight loss or weight gain)<\/div>\n
\u2013 Shame<\/div>\n
\u2013 Shock and disbelief<\/div>\n
\u2013 Diminished interest in everyday activities<\/div>\n
\u2013 Withdraw<\/div>\n
\u2013 Preoccupation with body image<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Partners are sometimes surprised that reactions to the trauma last longer than they expected. It may take months or even years to fully regain a sense of balance and equilibrium. Too often partners feel that they need to just \u201cget over it\u201d when in reality most partners need support to \u201cget through it.\u201d Research indicates that one of the keys of successfully working through trauma is the level of support an individual has. Many women feel isolated and it can be said that often \u201cwhen an addict comes out of the closet his partner goes in.\u201d Therefore it is important for the partner to find a safe place to talk about her experience.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Another tool to work through trauma is to focus on \u201cself-care.\u201d Self-care involves finding helpful coping strategies that assist in nurturing oneself at a very difficult time of life. Some examples might include:<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u2013 Connecting and talking with others, especially with those who share similar stressful<\/div>\n
\u2013 Allowing yourself to feel and express emotions such as anger, sadness, hurt, and fear,<\/div>\n
\u2013 Engaging in physical movement and\/or exercise to deal with the stresses of the trauma.<\/div>\n
\u2013 Participating in relaxation activities like yoga, meditation, stretching, or massage.<\/div>\n
\u2013 Seeking plenty of rest. Often sleep is disrupted and as much as possible it is important to<\/div>\n
\u2013 Writing about the experience in order to begin the process of sorting through the details<\/div>\n
\u2013 Maintaining spiritual practices such as praying, meditating, and attending religious<\/div>\n
\u2013 Taking relaxing baths or showers<\/div>\n
\u2013 Listening to calming and uplifting music.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\n
Just like anyone who has been through a traumatic event it is important that you treat yourself with gentleness and patience. If possible, try not to make major life changes at this time, as thinking and judgment may not be as clear as usual. And again, seek support and information about addiction as this is a very difficult experience to navigate by oneself.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Dorothy Maryon, LPC<\/div>\n
LifeStar of Murray, Utah<\/div>\n
801-262-2400<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Those on the receiving end of addiction are often left dealing with a sense of betrayal, hurt, and uncertainty. Addiction hits at the core of a woman\u2019s relationship and often at the center of her soul. After learning of a partner\u2019s addiction many women report that the relationship now feels false and empty. The partner of the addict is often left feeling vulnerable and disoriented. She will naturally ask, \u201cWho can I trust? Who will be there for me now?\u201d The betrayed spouse does not know where to turn and will often struggle alone. The partner\u2019s identity, security and stability […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nTrauma for Partners - LifeStar Therapy<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Spouses of pornography addiction can go through traumatic events as their partner works through recovery. 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